don't hurt jerry. he's fun!

from last thursday:After stressing all day about not finishing a literary analysis, I had no idea what would happen tonight. Sitting in Youth & Law at 7, Mrs. fucking Kearney comes in and yells at me for having my hat on again. I say JESUS!Then, she yells at me again... We're combining classes tonight bcuz the faculty's having a meeting & both classes getting a sub. Sitting there, me and Sarah complain about the work and our shitty, 70 year old teacher.Half an hour goes by, the idiots in our class will NOT shut up. Lionel & Jerry are throwing stuff at each other and blaming on another for making disruptions. I was sorta disappointed in Jerry bcuz i thought he was more mature than that. Anywaym Mrs. Avery has almost had it and keeps telling them to be quiet. Suddenly, Jerry gets up and goes over to Lionel's desk to pick up something. Lionel springs out of his chair and puts Jerry in a headlock and starts punching him. Avery tells someone to get Mitch (the security guard). 2 people exit the room. I go to the phone and dial the office. Apparantly, while I wasn't looking, Lionel hit Jerry in the head with a book...I didn't notice, so I walk into the hall to see if Mitch is coming, he's not. I turn back around to see Jerry shaking, not violently, but erratically..very, very, erratically. I see blood dripping all over the floor from Jerry's hand. Was he stabbed???No, Lionel hit him with a Street Law book...cutting Jerry just above the left eye. I was getting queasy, very queasy. And that's weird cuz I've never gotten queasy at the sight of blood before... I'm standing there, shocked. Then Jerry just screams.. He officially scared the shit out of me. Then he yells, "If you had done that when I was looking Lionel, maybe I wouldn't be so pissed!" I go back and sit at my desk, queasy and upset. people are snickering around me. I feel like saying, what the hel is wrong with you people!? But i don't. Poor Jerry's bleeding all over the place and all I want to do is hug him. After they're both escorted from the room, I pack up my stuff and leave. I only get halfway down the hall when I start to cry. i see Lionel go into the office, i don't want to give the satisfaction of seeing me cry, and i don't want to kill him, so i sit down in the stairwell. Soon enough, a hall moniter finds me and asks if I'm ok. I can't even talk, I'm shaking and crying so much. Then I try to explain that Jerry was bleeding a lot, and he was screaming and it was all too real for me. She says it's ok, he's ok and brings me into the office to sit down. I could barely walk... I overhear Jerry in the other room, talking about how Lionel always picks on him. He had no idea why he just attacked him like that. I ask the lady sittig next to me if I can call my mom. She says, sure...I tried to explain what happened to my mom but everything was so tangled together and some teacher had to explain what happened. I sit down again. Then I go back to where I was originally sitting. After a few minutes I have to ask, "is he ok?", although i know he is, I just have to make sure. She says he's ok, he's gonna be fine. A couple people ask if i know Jerry. I do, but I don't. I've talked to him a couple times. I tried to talk him into buying tickets to Renata's cd release party, but he said he didn't have a ride to Hartford. Another time, when Mrs. Connelly was teaching our English class, I walked in a little early, when Jerry's class was just ending. He was the only one in there and he was reading this beautiful poem to Mrs. Connelly. Mrs. Connelly was the nicest person, you could share anything with her and she'd never ever judge you. Anyway, I didn't want to be intrusive, so i left and stood outside the door, eavesdropping. lol. That's how wonderful it was. When he finished, I went back in and he was talking about how he was just writing one night and it just came out of him. He said he didnt know he could write anything like that. I was just in awe. It was so fuckin deep. Point of this story. Jerry's a hell of a kewl guy and I have no idea why someone woule want to harm him. The police arrive and they want to get a statement from me. In the middle of the statement, my mom walks in and the cop has to explain what's going on. I told him everything I saw, reviewed the statement, then signed it. Walking out of the office, I want to find Sarah, but my mom said we should just go and i should call her later. As we're walking out the front door, I see what I thought was a cop sitting in the front seat of the police car. He looks way too nice, and way too young to be a cop. Then I realize it was Jerry and felt humiliated. But he was smiling at me and I don't know why. I guess it was bcuz I was the only one down at that fucking office that was actually truly concerned about him, while everyone else was in class, laughing about the blood on the floor and covering up what they truly felt. I just wanted to hit things, I was so pissed off. I was sick of talking about it and I was sick of it repeating over and over in my head. It was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. It's different than on tv...Majorly different.It was horrible.I don't ever want to live through that again..I hope Jerry's ok.

i'm you're lover, i'm your zero...

Take the Which Hedwig and the Angry Inch Character am I? QuizCheck out the Hedwig and the Angry Inch web site.Poll created by jsmusicNo Doubt SUCKS! take the "which male no doubt member are you most like" quiz

yo

i made a Fight Club collage last night...... I am Tyler Durden from Fight Club. Take the "Which Chuck character am I? Quiz"

yo

i made a Fight Club collage last night...... I am Tyler Durden from Fight Club. Take the "Which Chuck character am I? Quiz"

i cut my hair...

i cut my hair into a sort of mohawk thing.... :)my mom thinks i wanted to give myself a crew cut...i was laughing...a crew cut, yet i have a mohawk???hmmm......

this is how much of a life i have at the moment...

Which David Lynch character are you most like?Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? QuizTake the Which Beatle Are You? Quiz.<td></td><td width="400">To put it bluntly, you're a total slut! You'd go to the ends of the earth and back if you thought it would spice up your life a bit and deliver the attention that you constantly seek. However, I suggest if you ever go into a dark bathroom, be sure to bring a flashlight so you don't participate in anymore necrophiliac activities. There's a good thing about being catatonic though, nasty Dante is out of your mind for good. What were you thinking?
Take The "Which Kevin Smith Female Are You?" Quiz!!</td>I am an Asteroid.I am a drifter. I go where life leads, which makes me usually a very calm and content sort of person. That or thoroughly apathetic. Usually I keep on doing whatever I'm doing, and it takes something special to make me change my mind. What Video Game Character Are You?im a fucking asteroid!?!!?!?Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!LMAO!!!! OWL!!!!!! HOOOOOOO!!!!!Click here to takethe quiz! You are Rhonda! Aren't you just a princess! Yeah, you know what's cool. Is that guy wearing orange and red??? Yuck! take the what hey arnold! character are you? test man im sooooo bored?.FUCK!Take the "What kind of Squirrel am I Test!"

AHHH!

Chris-FUCKING-Heneghan is playing with Pete Sirge at the Equator tomorrow!!!!*screams like a little girl**ahem*wow.Well fuck yew too!I made a new little icon! t hee, the me and cal....possibly? iconyeh im not fucking infatuated ok?my fuck what is wrong with you people?oh shit....i have shit to do....later

1 more thing..

Take the Corporate Mascot Test at Willaston's Lounge!Which Rocky character are you?

to: c. r. ; merry christmas <3

We don't have all the answers.But those who do, usually spontaneously combust within a matter of 5 seconds.Was that supposed to sound philosophical or comical?I don't even know. Oh well.Nana had a stroke on Monday, she needs to stay in the hospital for a week, and then go to a rehabilitation center for aboput 3 weeks so she can learn to walk on her left side again. :*(She's in good health though, and she's not paralyzed on her left side like she was on Monday. I need to find someone to work for me on Saturday bcuz I'm going up to visit her...I hate when you get too close to someone, then all of a sudden they depend on you for everything! I'm not the world's greatest friend. I'm an asshole.I hate the fact that I'm just like everyone else. I depend on different people for different things. And this leads back to the main person I was writing about...My apologies ok...mostly go to Cal. I tell you everything that's shit or well off in my life whenever it happens. And I'm sorry.You're the only person who I feel like is actually listening to me. You know exactly what to say whenever I'm down. I guess I love you. But you know that already.I remember that night you were crying and told me all the shit you were going through. I remember the time you called when I was seriously thinking about taking my life.I remember when Kyle gave me the 666 mm site and I recall picking up your screen name from that site and adoring the fuck out of you during our first conversation. I don't think I've ever felt that much magic in my life...EVER. You made me piss my pants laughing (NOT literally, heh).I love when you call me a Briton...and I have no idea why...We don't talk anymore though.Not like we used to.You're the deepest, smartest, most wonderful person I've ever been aquainted with.I love the in-depth conversations we had/have. I won't ever forget them.I feel as though you're out of my reach sometimes.I think I scare you.I know I'm abrasive, and I don't mean to be most of the time. I miss you.</c>I can't stop talking about you lately, or thinking about you.I should be happy for you two.But for some reason, I'm not. I'm glad you're happy though :) Hope you are... You're amazing... Please consider us someday?</c>

oh boy...

6:00 Did Yoga this morning for better posture. I felt good! Had an orange and some water.6:30Took my meds1 PseudoGuaif1 AmbienAMBIEN????I took my mom's sleeping pill accidentally instead of my *STAY HAPPY* pills! It was chaos.8:00I just threw up like 5 times....Something's caught in my throat, don't know whether it was part of an orange or just stubborn phleghm.Either way, I stayed awake long enough to record the Care Bears movie. I lost that a while ago...Ah well....