to: c. r. ; merry christmas <3

We don't have all the answers.But those who do, usually spontaneously combust within a matter of 5 seconds.Was that supposed to sound philosophical or comical?I don't even know. Oh well.Nana had a stroke on Monday, she needs to stay in the hospital for a week, and then go to a rehabilitation center for aboput 3 weeks so she can learn to walk on her left side again. :*(She's in good health though, and she's not paralyzed on her left side like she was on Monday. I need to find someone to work for me on Saturday bcuz I'm going up to visit her...I hate when you get too close to someone, then all of a sudden they depend on you for everything! I'm not the world's greatest friend. I'm an asshole.I hate the fact that I'm just like everyone else. I depend on different people for different things. And this leads back to the main person I was writing about...My apologies ok...mostly go to Cal. I tell you everything that's shit or well off in my life whenever it happens. And I'm sorry.You're the only person who I feel like is actually listening to me. You know exactly what to say whenever I'm down. I guess I love you. But you know that already.I remember that night you were crying and told me all the shit you were going through. I remember the time you called when I was seriously thinking about taking my life.I remember when Kyle gave me the 666 mm site and I recall picking up your screen name from that site and adoring the fuck out of you during our first conversation. I don't think I've ever felt that much magic in my life...EVER. You made me piss my pants laughing (NOT literally, heh).I love when you call me a Briton...and I have no idea why...We don't talk anymore though.Not like we used to.You're the deepest, smartest, most wonderful person I've ever been aquainted with.I love the in-depth conversations we had/have. I won't ever forget them.I feel as though you're out of my reach sometimes.I think I scare you.I know I'm abrasive, and I don't mean to be most of the time. I miss you.</c>I can't stop talking about you lately, or thinking about you.I should be happy for you two.But for some reason, I'm not. I'm glad you're happy though :) Hope you are... You're amazing... Please consider us someday?</c>